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Post by whollygoats on Jun 11, 2013 16:26:50 GMT
*sigh*
So...This weekend we were once again invaded by the unson and his wife and child. The child is now past her 6 monthiversary and doing more than just filling diapers and squalling.
I find myself babbling senselessly to a small human. She is unquestionably cute....for crepes sake, she has dimples!
As most of you know, I am a child free man about to enter my sixth decade on this planet. All this infant stuff is entirely new to me. I tend to view it has having a highly demanding pet; one which I can, thankfully, hand over to the parents upon expending all my patience attempting to entertain it. I must admit that I'm happy that I am not required to carry a plastic bag for stool collection.
But yesterday, while depositing the rubbish in the dustbin, I had to squeeze by the pram parked on the walk to the dustbin, so I had to move it around. Now....there's something with wheels. And seating. Hmmm...it rolls nicely. I wondered if little Kayleejane might be interested in specialty class drag racing.
This grampus routine might not be too bad of a gig after all. I just hope she'll share her toys when she visits.
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Post by JoeP on Jun 11, 2013 17:05:38 GMT
You have a curmudgeonly reputation to uphold. Cooing at 6-month-olds is going to ruin your street cred.
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Post by charliebrown on Jun 11, 2013 17:21:16 GMT
Baby does suck up one's energy. My husband kind of like the idea of having another kid, but I am just too old for that. It won't be too bad, grandpa goat! Courage!
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Post by whollygoats on Jun 11, 2013 17:50:05 GMT
You have a curmudgeonly reputation to uphold. Cooing at 6-month-olds is going to ruin your street cred. Yes...there is that. How about if I only engage in it at home? Like a closet cooer?
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Post by Mari on Jun 11, 2013 17:56:39 GMT
I like the term. You should have it as your official title
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Post by Shake on Jun 11, 2013 18:19:00 GMT
You have a curmudgeonly reputation to uphold. Cooing at 6-month-olds is going to ruin your street cred. Yes...there is that. How about if I only engage in it at home? Like a closet cooer? I think that would be acceptable.
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Post by Alvamiga on Jun 11, 2013 18:25:25 GMT
But yesterday, while depositing the rubbish in the dustbin, I had to squeeze by the pram parked on the walk to the dustbin, so I had to move it around. Now....there's something with wheels. And seating. Hmmm...it rolls nicely. I wondered if little Kayleejane might be interested in specialty class drag racing. Are you suggesting wheelie bin racing?
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Post by JoeP on Jun 11, 2013 20:31:42 GMT
Bring on the closet cooing!
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Post by Alvamiga on Jun 11, 2013 20:41:27 GMT
"Oooooh! What a lovely wardrobe!"
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Post by Moose on Jun 11, 2013 20:46:51 GMT
I think it's prolly like nieces or nephews .. they are cute and you can coo at them but you don't have to wipe their asses yourself. Plus, they might visit you when you're in the geriatric's home. Win win situation really.
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Post by ProdigalAlan on Jun 11, 2013 22:15:39 GMT
Hiya goat. Don't sweat it. As a grandpa you are the good guy. Grandpas are heros. Grandpas give kids permission to do all the things parents won't let them do, like run while holding a pair of scissors or play the armpit trombone (in fact it's your duty to teach them the armpit trombone). Just go into W C Fields mode, that's what they expect and want. The name of the game is curmudgeonly love. Let 'em stay up late and watch "A Clockwork Orange". Give 'em cold pizza for breakfast and challenge 'em to fart louder than you. Show 'em how to walk like Groucho Marx (this drives parents crazy after three days - give 'em a breadstick for a cigar and let 'em paint false moustaches on their faces with felt tip pens). You can't go wrong from here on in - congratulations. P.S. when my eldest granddaughter is on the phone and she "of stages" to her mum that granddad is coming round for tea and her mum asks "which granddad?" She has great delight in saying - granddad loony. As far as Courtney is concerned having a granddad on release from. The funny farm is mega cool.
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Post by Moose on Jun 11, 2013 22:35:10 GMT
hahahaha
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Post by jayme on Jun 11, 2013 23:01:52 GMT
Kayleejane? She's named after not one, but TWO FIREFLY CHARACTERS?!!!!
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Post by whollygoats on Jun 12, 2013 1:07:33 GMT
Kayleejane? She's named after not one, but TWO FIREFLY CHARACTERS?!!!! It's a play off a family tradition. The mother is Sarahjane and her mother is Maryjane. So, when the parents, ardent LARPers, came to name their baby girl, they went with Kaylee...yes, from Firefly...and appended the 'jane'. Everybody calls her Kaylee. I suspect that she shall consider the full moniker her "oops, I'm in trouble now name". The family surname is a single syllable, so it's possible to carry off a three syllable first name without sounding pretentious.
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Post by Miisa on Jun 12, 2013 6:38:33 GMT
The family surname is a single syllable, so it's possible to carry off a three syllable first name without sounding pretentious. - Marja-Liisa -
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Post by Mari on Jun 12, 2013 7:25:07 GMT
Hiya goat. Don't sweat it. As a grandpa you are the good guy. Grandpas are heros. Grandpas give kids permission to do all the things parents won't let them do, like run while holding a pair of scissors or play the armpit trombone (in fact it's your duty to teach them the armpit trombone). Just go into W C Fields mode, that's what they expect and want. The name of the game is curmudgeonly love. Let 'em stay up late and watch "A Clockwork Orange". Give 'em cold pizza for breakfast and challenge 'em to fart louder than you. Show 'em how to walk like Groucho Marx (this drives parents crazy after three days - give 'em a breadstick for a cigar and let 'em paint false moustaches on their faces with felt tip pens). You can't go wrong from here on in - congratulations. P.S. when my eldest granddaughter is on the phone and she "of stages" to her mum that granddad is coming round for tea and her mum asks "which granddad?" She has great delight in saying - granddad loony. As far as Courtney is concerned having a granddad on release from. The funny farm is mega cool. Very true. Grandmothers are supposed to be the voice of reason behind the grandpas, and worrying about your future even more than your parents do (that or they are just more open about it), grandfathers are supposed to play with you and indulge you and let you do all the things you're otherwise not allowed to. And then you have your sniggering moments together when you have to fess up and share the scolding. Great bonding moments, those.
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Post by Alvamiga on Jun 12, 2013 7:34:36 GMT
Let 'em stay up late and watch "A Clockwork Orange"... Show 'em how to walk like Groucho Marx (this drives parents crazy after three days - give 'em a breadstick for a cigar and let 'em paint false moustaches on their faces with felt tip pens). Personally, I found A Clockwork Orange to be one of the most tedious films I've ever seen. Don't forget to teach them lots of Groucho Marx jokes that they can repeat ad nauseam, too. No matter how funny they might be, having the same joke repeated endlessly by a small child should be enough to kill it. (Permanent marker for the moustache?)
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Post by JoeP on Jun 12, 2013 8:28:26 GMT
The family surname is a single syllable, so it's possible to carry off a three syllable first name without sounding pretentious. - Marja-Liisa - That's four syllables. If not 5?
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Post by Miisa on Jun 12, 2013 8:36:01 GMT
Indeed. 4.
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Post by JoeP on Jun 12, 2013 8:39:30 GMT
And therefore not pretentious by the goat's rule.
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Post by Miisa on Jun 12, 2013 8:41:20 GMT
That's true. Phew. Not pretentious then.
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Post by JoeP on Jun 12, 2013 8:58:20 GMT
Were you worried that you might have been pretentious?
It's the tux. Makes penguins look smart, but that doesn't mean pretentious.
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Post by Miisa on Jun 12, 2013 9:00:42 GMT
I worry about everything. I worry about worrying about something so much it becomes reality.
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Post by JoeP on Jun 12, 2013 9:02:02 GMT
Join the club ... I do that, and I think it applies to quite a few of us here!
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Post by tangent on Jun 12, 2013 9:13:29 GMT
True.
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Post by Mari on Jun 12, 2013 15:51:06 GMT
My official name has 5 syllables. Fortunately I have a 'calling name' for every day use too.
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Post by whollygoats on Jun 12, 2013 15:54:34 GMT
Evidently, my fellow 'Merkins think that my name is pretentious.
When introducing myself to high school acquaintances, I'd occasionally get the question, "Is that 'the Third' (III)?"
Then, when I got my first job at age 16, working at the local branch of the county library, our custodian was an older gent who had immigrated from Ireland as a young man. After I was introduced to him, he evidently approached the librarian, my boss, to ask why I was working there. She informed him that I probably needed to earn money for school. He seemed to think that anybody with my family name would not need to work for earnings.
So...I know pretentious, or at least what my countrymen think is pretentious. I'm just glad I didn't get some monikers like Bertram Haycroft or Alexander de Freese Pendrake or William Robert to append to my surname.
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Post by Mari on Jun 12, 2013 15:58:28 GMT
Is that the reason why all those nice names like William and Robert are abbreviated to Bill and Bob? I don't particularly like names like Bill and Bob. It's so... common. They roll around in your mouth like the word 'blob'.
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Post by whollygoats on Jun 12, 2013 18:25:39 GMT
Hey...the William Robert combo is exceedingly popular here, particularly in the South. That's where it becomes shortened to the classic 'Merkin white trash name, 'Billy Bob'. As such, it is the antithesis of pretentious.
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Post by jayme on Jun 14, 2013 0:40:44 GMT
Evidently, my fellow 'Merkins think that my name is pretentious. When introducing myself to high school acquaintances, I'd occasionally get the question, "Is that 'the Third' (III)?" Then, when I got my first job at age 16, working at the local branch of the county library, our custodian was an older gent who had immigrated from Ireland as a young man. After I was introduced to him, he evidently approached the librarian, my boss, to ask why I was working there. She informed him that I probably needed to earn money for school. He seemed to think that anybody with my family name would not need to work for earnings. So...I know pretentious, or at least what my countrymen think is pretentious. I'm just glad I didn't get some monikers like Bertram Haycroft or Alexander de Freese Pendrake or William Robert to append to my surname. Your middle name is Vanderbiltwaldorfrockefellerguggenheim, isn't it?
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