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Post by Moose on Oct 27, 2021 21:18:29 GMT
For the past couple of months I've been talking to a woman I met on the Turking forum I frequent. I like her and, over time we'd been talking about other things than just the work on there; nothing very personal or anything but just about where we lived (she is in CA) and animals and gardening and stuff. I know that she's in a relationship cos she's mentioned her partner.
And, despite the fact that I liked her, there was something that always nagged at me a little,some sense that we weren't totally the same, though I did not know what it was and still can't define it.
I've just learned today that she is actually a cis gay man. This does not, of itself, make any difference to me - though it does suggest to me something that I don't really like about myself, ie I just assumed that he was female. Still musing on this one. It was totally my bad; I did not ask his real name and just presumed from the mention of a male partner that he was female. That's not great of me, is it?
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Post by JoeP on Oct 27, 2021 22:23:55 GMT
It's not great of you but it's not horrible. Plus you have some guilt now that you've found out, and that's good.
I presume he never mentioned pronouns - and you don't use third persons pronouns when you're talking directly with someone!
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Post by Kye on Oct 27, 2021 22:42:08 GMT
Since heteros are in the majority, it's not a surprise that you assumed the person you were talking to was hetero. If he wanted to emphasize he was gay, there are ways of doing it subtly. The fact that he didn't means he probably knew you were assuming he was a woman and it didn't bother him
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Post by tangent on Oct 27, 2021 22:49:01 GMT
It's unsettling to find that a woman is actually a man but is that something you should blame yourself for?
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Post by Moose on Oct 27, 2021 22:54:50 GMT
Well, it means that I made an assumption that was unfounded.
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Post by tangent on Oct 27, 2021 22:58:34 GMT
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. It's a very easy thing to do.
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